Understanding How the Fed Helped Businesses During Covid-19

    I'm going a little off the usual topic today. Instead of talking about marriage and family, I'll be reviewing an article I researched about Covid-19 and what the Fed did to help keep businesses alive. 

During the historic Covid-19 pandemic, thousands of small businesses struggled to keep afloat. They needed help in order to not be sunk and lost as another fatality in the pandemic. Thus, the Fed stepped in to serve as the economy's medic. 

The Primary Market Corporate Credit Facility (PMCCF), acted as a backup lender, which bought brand-new bonds from companies, or lend to those companies, so the company could keep functioning. Another organization that bought existing bonds is the Secondary Market Corporate Credit Facility (SMCCF). 

Potential

     Every person on earth has potential. Each individual has capacity to do great things because, I believe, we are all children of a Heavenly Being who has unlimited potential. This Creator has passed this onto us, His spiritual offspring. Whether you believe in a higher power or not, just know that it is possible to grow, get out ruts we think we're permanently stuck in, and achieve a better version of ourselves. 

    In Mark 14, Jesus tells us, "The Spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak." Meaning, we do have great potential within ourselves, but the natural man, our id, the ways of the world, superficiality, can all get in the way of our potential if we're not careful. Humans have weaknesses, we are selfish, deceitful, lazy, addicted. We also have strengths. We can move those weaknesses aside, get them out of our way and push on towards bigger and better ways using strengths. 

    One of these strengths is friends and family. Jesus spoke highly of good friends. His good disciples were amazing friends He made. We all understand that seeking out help from friends and family can be a complete life-changer. I find greatness in turning to any of my family members, but I want to mention my older sister right now. She has been an incredible sister. I find shelter, hope, and feel even more appreciated when I spend time with her. I am grateful to God that He has put her in my life. She is Christ-like in many ways. 

    I encourage anyone who feels like they are stuck, lonely, or feeling like their "flesh" is bring their spirit down, to seek out help from loved ones. Helping others is an amazing blessing, for both the giver and the receiver. Even Jesus asked for help in a great time of need. God loves you and has provided help for every trial and challenge. Don't forget that. 

What to Think About the World Today

I believe we have every reason to be hopeful about the future. While wars, rumors, and speculation increase, we can find hope, joy, and true peace in the world. Hope can be found every single day if we know where to look. It can be found in a child's face as they play and learn. It can be found in the grasp of a couple's hands as they walk down the street. Hope can be found in a man taking his old dog out to the park for an evening game of fetch. Most importantly, hope is found in Jesus Christ. As we learn more about our Big Brother, we can have better eyes to see hope with. Learning about and coming closer to the Savior will strengthen our ability to see the good in the world, no matter where we are, what we've done, or what is going on in the world. 

    I've heard too many facts and rumors alike about nuclear war (did the cold war ever end?), inflation, abuse, disease, divorce and other trials and challenges that exist in the world today. Jesus knew these would arise. In the 13th chapter of Mark, verse 7, He explains that there will be news of wars and rumors of wars. However, He tells us not to be alarmed. Why? Why not be alarmed? These are awful things that happen to innocent people. God has provided a way to work through them. I don't think He's provided a way out, per se, because we can't ever truly escape the challenges of this life, but we can change our perspective, we can help each other, we can find hope in things that really matter. 

    While we can work together to decrease and mitigate some man-made trials, other challenges will remain. With the right mindset, no challenge or trial or hardship is the end. We can grow stronger. We come to know God's ways, find hope as He wants us to find hope, and we will be better off for it. 

    While the world is an uncertain place, I invite us all to make at least one thing certain: God loves each of us and has provided a Savior to help us return to Him. We can choose to focus on the bad and only see the bad, or we can choose to see the good and learn from the bad. God will help us make the right decisions. 

Walking in the Light

 I've loved hiking since I was a kid! Getting out in nature and enjoying what God has created is one of my most favorite hobbies. Love of hiking started with my family. My dad told me a story about a hike of his when I was a kid, which highlights how walking in the light, both physically and spiritually, can save our lives. 

    My dad had gone out an early morning hike before that sun had come up. He had no flashlight or headlamp on so was going by feel and maybe some minimum moonlight. While pushing through some brush and trees he heard a distinct voice say, "Stop!" He stopped stepping forward immediately. Focusing more on the area ahead of him, he realized there was a massive void where he thought was solid ground. Had he kept moving forward, he would have tumbled off a cliff. 

    Because my dad was willing to listen to that voice, what he believes was the Holy Spirit, his life was saved. When we are walking in the light of Christ our lives can be saved, in more ways than one. 

    I've realized that many people go through this life without a full sense of direction and purpose. When we come to Jesus Christ and live His gospel, we have greater opportunities to find our true, eternal purpose. In John, chapter 11, Jesus reminds us, "Are there not twelve hours in the day? If any man walk in the day, he stumbleth not, because he seeth the light of the world." 

Turning to Jesus will enable us to reach our greatest potential in both this life and the next. We will be protected, strengthened, and find greater self-worth. We will be warned of danger, as my dad was, and directed to places that will give us greater hope and light. 

    

3. Jesus appreciates those people who simply try. Mark 9:40-41

     I was reading in Mark this week and came across a couple of verses that I find insightful for anyone who might be struggling with their faith or struggling with their sense of self-worth. In Mark chapter 9 verse 40, Jesus says, "For he that is not against us is on our part." 

    To me, this is Jesus validating anyone who is simply trying. He is saying, "I know you're trying to do good, and I see that. You are not against me when you are trying. In fact, you are with me, and I will be with you because you're trying your best."  

    We are either with God or against Him. In this context, one of the things we can do to be with God, is to not be against Him. If we are just trying to do good, God will recognize that. Of course, I believe there are other things we can do to further see and come closer to God, but the first step is almost a default step; don't fight against God. 

    I know it's sometimes hard to recognize God and trust in Him, but I know He will turn our faith into great actions and growth. There are blessings to be realized as we turn to God. We don't have to be perfect. We just need to try. 

Relationships

     Do you find relationships with other people important? I do! I love my family, I have wonderful friends I love, I enjoy watching humans interact with each other. In today's world we see so much of the bad side of human beings through news, social media, gossip, and a plethora of other ways. Why do we focus so much on the bad? We are brothers and sisters with so much potential to love. 

    I believe one of the reasons humans are on the earth is to form loving and eternally lasting relationships. This week I was studying in the New Testament and read Matthew 12:11-12. These verses say, 

"And he said unto them, what man shall there be among you, that shall have one sheep, and if it fall into a pit on the sabbath day, will he not lay hold on it, and lift it out? How much then is a man better than a sheep? Wherefore it is lawful to do well on the sabbath days."

This passage reminded me that our humanity is greater than anything material. Jesus implies that if man is better than a sheep and we would sacrifice so much for a sheep, than why wouldn't we do that for man? I also asked myself, do I put ideologies, thoughts, and barriers between me and my fellow man? Some people thought it was unlawful to help someone on the sabbath day. Do I think it is unlawful to help someone because they don't share the same political views as me? Do I think it unlawful to love others because they made what I think are bad decisions? 

I hope we can all see the good in each other. I hope we don't love our own ideologies more than we love the humans around us, especially in our own families. 

What We Can Learn From Jesus Christ

    No matter whether we're a participating Christian or not, almost everyone in the modern world has heard the name of Jesus Christ. But who is He? Why is He so important to so many people? Jesus was a great leader, teacher, and - one of the most influential titles to me - friend. I want to share a quick story about Jesus when He was about 30 years old and why it's important to me and, hopefully, you. (This story is told mostly through my own words, but it still gets the important messages across).

    Jesus had gone to the wilderness and fasted for 40 days. While there the devil came to Him and tried tempting Jesus three times. The first time the devil told Jesus "You must be really hungry. If you are the Son of God, turn these stones into bread so you can eat." Jesus replied to the devil, "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God." He did not fall to the first temptation of the devil.

    The devil came to Jesus a second time and told Him, "Let's go to the top of the tower. If you are the Son of God, throw yourself off. Angels will catch you and you will be protected." Again, Jesus denied the temptation and told the devil, "You shall not tempt the Lord your God."

    Once more for the third time, the devil told Jesus, "If you worship me, I will give you everything." Jesus exclaimed, "Away with you, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve." The devil left Jesus for a while after that. Jesus was successful in resisting all three temptations. 

There can be many lessons learned from this story, but one I want to talk about is the understanding Jesus had of who He was. In the first two temptations, the devil had said "IF you be the Son of God..." because I think he was trying to get Jesus to doubt who He truly was. I believe that humans have amazing potential to do great things, just like Jesus did. If we ever feel like we aren't good enough, or have low self-worth, we can know that those thoughts do not define reality. While those thoughts can be hard to ignore, they do not define who we are. We are so much greater than we realize. 

The Family

 I understand how much struggle a family goes through. I have been very blessed with a good family; loving parents and caring siblings. I have many wonderful memories with each family member and with the family as a whole.

However, we have not been spared from family struggles, especially the pains of divorce. After 6 years, one of my siblings is still fighting through the residual effects of divorce and child custody ordeals. After remarrying, my sibling is now an active and involved parent of a "blended family." While being part of a blended family might lead to more difficulties in the family life, are there any benefits to a blended family? Or rather, what good can come from remarrying and joining families together? What can be done to help ease the struggles that naturally come from blended families?

One benefit for joining multiple families together is the amount of loving adults in child's life. Instead of having the typical 4 grandparents, the child(ren) now have 6 caring grandparents. The amount of aunts and uncles and cousins increase. Though they may not be blood-related, they can still be considered family and learn to love the child(ren) that are especially hurting because of the divorce their parents went through.

Of course, this only makes a difference to the child(ren) if the adults have the right attitude and mindset. One of the most important things to remember, for any marriage not just blended families, is that your mindset and way you think can affect the outcome. If I tell myself my marriage is lame, then it will be lame. If I tell myself that my marriage is wonderful, then it will be wonderful. This applies to any part of our life, but family is a huge part of life. If we remarry and are struggling with connecting with our non-biological kids, it will help to change the way we talk and think about them. Instead of acting like a connected parent, try taking on the role of a cool aunt or uncle. Don't be so controlling, but be a somewhat influential and caring adult in their life. It also helps to be patient. Consciously work on being patient. Don't get upset or agitated if things don't seem "normal" after marriage. It usually takes about two years for things to return to a sort of "normalcy" after the remarriage. This allows for everyone to experience two Christmases, two birthdays for each person, two of everything together. So, don't be afraid or impatient if things aren't feeling normal after a few months. Things won't ever be the same, of course, but with the right mindset, things can even be better than what they once were for both families involved.

I hope that families, especially those that are struggling with divorce, can recognize the blessings that come from the family. Studies show that 70% of divorced people said they could have and should have saved their marriage. We all go through struggles both as individuals and as whole families. I hope that couples and families can realize their strength to save their marriage. There are the exceptions when abuse is involved, in which I recommend taking necessary and immediate action, but for those who simply think they've "fallen out of love," or their spouse is "just lazy," I would invite you to think again. You loved them at some point. You saw them work hard during one period of time. What can you do to love them again? Can you do something to help them get back to work? Talk to them. Perhaps they are fighting unknown depression and don't want you to worry. The point is, there are things we can do to better understand our partners and there is always something we can do to try to save our marriage. Communication is, obviously, a key to success. Empathy needs to be a constant in marriage. Even going on weekly dates can help contribute to a successful marriage. In fact, going on frequent dates with your spouse could be considered vital.

I know marriage is supported by God. Turn to Him during the good and bad times of your marriage. Pray for your spouse and kids. If it is God's will (and it most likely is) your marriage will be successful and joy filled. If divorce is necessary, trust Him, and know that He will lead you to a better marriage and family if you so choose.

https://www.webmd.com/parenting/what-is-a-blended-family#:~:text=Blended%20families%20provide%20children%20with,to%20teach%20and%20nurture%20children.

What a Parent Gotta Do?

My mother has been one of the most influential person in my life. She has been a citadel of faith for me and many others. Her love and compassion inspires me to be a better person. I served a mission for my church for two years after high school in the Midwest during the lockdowns of Covid-19. This was one of the hardest times of my life. It was my first time away from home, we were locked in from the virus, and I had very limited contact with my family. My mother, however, set me packages and cards. She helped me feel loved. Those simple, yet profound gestures perhaps saved my two year long mission. Needless to say, I have learned a lot from my mother and the wonderful example of a parent she is. 

  Recently, my mother went to a conference with an influential speaker. She came home and the first thing she did was give me a big, long hug. Now, my family isn't typically a "huggy" family. We don't hug each other a lot, and we like our space, so this hug was definitely a bit unusual. At this conference, however, my mom learned the benefits of longer hugs. There are multiple studies that explain the advantages of long hugs and this really influenced my mom, and it will continue to influence those that are being hugged. A couple lines from dignityhealth.org explains very well why hugs are so advantageous. "Hugging increases serotonin, a neurotransmitter known as the 'feel good' hormone that is produced and spread by neurons in the brain. Serotonin helps us feel happy, calm, and confident." 

  Compare my mom's experience with the experience of my little brother. He is a wrestler in high school, a very physical sport. There is a certain bond within my little brother's wrestling team. Even the parents seem to be close. There are several reasons why this might be, but as far as the wrestlers are concerned, I think all the touching and wrestling together helps solidify and even develops a bond. Wrestlers are in consistent contact with each other, and although this specific type of contact is not necessarily out of love, it can still create the same effects of hugging, leading them to feel like they belong and are not alone.

  It seems obvious now why a parent needs to physically interact with their child. To have this physical touch, parents need to be present and active in their children's lives. This physical touch has been proven to change and develop children's behavior. A once wild and untamed kid can turn into a controlled child from just a little more physical touch; a hug or a handshake even. 

  Not only does physical touch increase bonding and belonging, it is nearly essential for survival. Human beings are not designed to function or to be alone. According to one article, children who get little physical touch have a higher chance of having stunted growth, weaker immune systems and essentially fail to thrive. 

   So, what a parent gotta do? Hug your children! Yes, allow them to struggle a little bit. Don't be a helicopter parent, hovering over their every move, but hug them, let them lean on you when you're sitting on the couch, wrestle with them. Let them feel loved throughout all stages of childhood and even into adulthood. The benefits of hugs goes both ways. Adult children can help their parents know that they are loved too. We lack a lot of love in this world, especially in our families. We need families, so let's do what we can to help each other feel loved. As cheesy as it sounds, the lack of hugs and other forms of physical touch can lead to some serious problems throughout generations.

https://www.dignityhealth.org/articles/4-facts-about-hugs-why-you-should-embrace-the-embrace

https://www.wvdhhr.org/birth23/raunewsletters/RAU7_Summer2018_PPNewsletter.pdf

     Many years ago, when I was about 14, I went on a young men's camping trip. Partway through the trip, my dad joined us. One day, the other boys went on a rafting trip. My dad isn't a fan of being on the water, so he recommended that we go on a hike to a high mountain lake instead. We were in the Colorado Rockies so full of beauty, peace, and serenity. I don't remember the hike being too long, but either way, the view was wonderful. The hike provided my dad and I the opportunity to talk about anything and everything. We talked about our favorite things, like World War Two history, and he gave me fatherly advice on ways I could improve. It was a much better experiences to be with my dad on that hike than rafting down a river. Needless to say, my dad is important to me, as a father should be for any child.

    An article by Fatherly highlights some reasons why fathers are important. I would like to mention just five things that stuck out to me from this article.

    The first is how early fatherhood can actually start. Any man can start being a good father when is doesn't even have kids yet. There are certain actions a potential father can make to increase the chances of a healthier child. For example, the article states, "Studies suggest that men who binge drink before conception are more likely to have kids with congenital heart diseases and who abuse alcohol. Poor dietary choices in men can lead to negative pregnancy outcomes." If thinking about being a father, I would consider what you do to your body that might affect your child.

    The second concept is the difference between being present and being engaged. A father can be at home, but may not be doing proper dad things. The article suggests that quantity of time with the children isn't as beneficial as that of quality of time. I know a great way to spend quality time together is by working together. Monotonous work, especially, leads to great conversations and a wonderful opportunity to just talk, just as my dad and I did during our hike to the lake. Don't just be there, be there for your children.

    The third idea is how essential a father is for a newborns and toddlers. A new father may wonder why he's so important for an infant when they are so dependent on the mother, but there are studies that show increased cognitive scores for children whose father's were engaged with them when they were one month old. It may be that fathers also tend to be not as overprotective as mothers, which can be provide the children better opportunities to learn riskier skills, specifically swimming. A child whose father is not present and engaged when they are younger shows a harder time forming good relationships later on in life. Don't make your child's future harder than it needs to be by not being there for them when they are just newborns or toddlers.

    The fourth thing is how important fathers are for daughters. This paragraph sums up why. "DelPriore suggests that daughters might learn from disengaged fathers that they shouldn’t expect men to invest meaningfully in long-term relationships, so they settle for casual flings. It’s also possible that 'daughters with disengaged fathers receive less parental monitoring and are more likely to affiliate with sexually promiscuous friends,' she says. 'On the other hand, having a father who is warm and engaged can protect against these outcomes." My sister is the only daughter in my family, and I feel like my dad and he had a beautiful, yet somewhat typical, father-daughter relationship. They spent a lot of time together and it seems clear to me that my dad loves her. A father should protect his daughter for all she is worth. Any girl deserves a loving father.

    Lastly, but not least by any means, a father needs to be a good example. Children watch their parents. Any action can be deeply recorded and integrated into a child's mind. Be a good parent. Speak kindly to everyone, show patience and love. Work hard and live a life that you will want your children to live.

    I'm grateful for my father and his example. He shows his love for all of us, especially my mother. His hard working attitude and willingness to improve is inspiring and leads us to do better. Let's all be the best parent we can be for our children.

Work, Work and More Work

     With the heat beating down on me, I rolled my sleeves up to my shoulders, exposing my upper arms to the sun. It was a long day, full of tedious, nearly mind-numbing work. It was so monotonous, but it paid well and I needed a job. I worked for a small fencing business, traveling to various locations to install hundreds of feet of split-rail cedar fence. We were based out of a little town in southern Idaho but the company would build fences anywhere from western Washington, Wyoming, Arizona, Utah and California. The job required us to work throughout the summer, during the hottest parts of the day in during the hottest times of the summer. Needless to say, some days were long.

    However repetitive this job was, it still is one of my favorites jobs. I loved it. I loved going out and taking several days to go build fence with my crew and suffer under the sun. Why did I like this job so much? I built a strong bond with my crew doing that monotonous work. They were my friends, or at least acquaintances, before I started working for the company, but by the end we became tight. Those guys were so fun to work with and we can joke around with each other like we can't with others. My crew boss was a goon, often messing with us other crew members. The monotony gave us the opportunity to talk, sing and sometimes even dance.

    This principle of working together is important for businesses and teams, but it is almost vital for better quality family relationships. There was an article published by BYU Magazine called "Family Work," which emphasizes the need for tedious work in a family setting. This quote sums up some great benefits of family work. "Helping one another nurture children, care for the land, prepare food, and clean homes can bind lives together. This is the power of family work, and it is this power, available in every home, no matter how troubled, that can end the turmoil of the family, [and] begin to change the world." As with my fencing job, family work, especially the boring work, provides a wonderful opportunity for family members to talk and build a great bond together. What does work look like to the family in this world so full of technology that does much of our work for us?

    I had the privilege to grow up in rural settings, providing various forms of work, such as pulling weeds, fixing fence, or cleaning out stalls. A lot of this work was done with my siblings and we have some pretty fun stories from these chores. However, not everyone has to clean out stalls, so some other ways a family can work together are simple. Cleaning the living room, cooking dinner, and folding laundry are still great methods of work that can bring family members closer together. It may not be the most exciting work, but that isn't the point. In fact, if the work is too complicated, the focus moves from the person to the work itself.

    Being able to work is a huge blessing. Being able to work together is an even bigger blessing. There are too many people in today's world that don't want to work, especially with others because they feel it will be easier to accomplish the task by oneself. Don't miss out on the opportunities to work together and help form an inseparable bond. Of course, there are other wonderful ways to grow close, but make everyday, boring tasks much more exciting by involving others, especially those you love. Good things take effort, so work for the relationships you want and you will find improvement in the quality of your relationships.

Don't Take the "1" Away From 1 John 4:18

 Once upon a time...

There was a young man on a religious journey traveling with two other partners. The young man had left behind his faithful fiancé and it had been months since he'd seen her. Whilst on the journey, the young man realized his fiancé's birthday was just a few weeks away. With limited resources on his journey, he decided to send her a thoughtful letter with the perfect verse of scripture that would describe his love for her.

He spent a few days pondering and studying and couldn't come up with a scripture. He finally turned to his companions for help and one of them offered to send 1 John 4:18 which says, "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love."

This is a great scripture, the young man thought. He hurriedly finished his letter with the scripture and sent it on it's way. Miraculously, the letter appeared on the fiancé's doorstep on her birthday. She excitedly read the letter and felt her heart sink when she read the scripture her fiancé had included for her. The beloved young man had mistakenly left out the "1" in 1 John 4:18 and instead had sent John 4:18 which reads, "For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly." She was livid! Why would he send her that verse? Eventually she realized that he must have meant 1 John 4:18, but she wouldn't let him off the hook that easily. In return she sent him the first line of Jeremiah 10:14, "Every man is brutish in his knowledge." Eventually the young man returned and the scripture mix-up became the running joke in their family, even long after they got married.

No matter what relationship you are trying to improve, communication is so important. We need to be thoughtful in our words, especially when communicating with our spouse. If we speak out of anger or haste, we may end up saying something the sounds "brutish," insulting our loved one and creating more tension. There is a popular method called EAR, or Empathy, Assertiveness, and Respect that has been known to greatly increase the quality of communication amongst even the most struggling of couples.

For now, I just want to focus on the empathy portion of EAR. I feel like this may be the hardest part of EAR, depending on how high tensions are and how easily the partners can control their feelings. When the heat is rising in an argument, it can be hard to put yourself in the other persons shoes. So instead of putting yourself in their shoes it might be easier to take a step back.

Jocko Willink has a technique he uses for any situation. He just takes a step back. He tries to look at the situation he is in from an outsiders perspective. From there he can assess what needs to be done and then acts on that assessment. The same thing can be done in the heat of an argument. Take a step back, assess what needs to be done, and act. Use your words carefully, don't speak irrationally (you don't want a 1 John 4:18 incident) and try to understand how the other person is feeling. You love this person for a reason, don't let them feel unloved.

Be respectful and let the person you're communicating with feel respected. Think of something genuinely good to say and tell them that. Together, you can both lower your defenses and drop your weapons of attack. With simple, clear communication, issues can be resolved and a loving atmosphere restored. Truly think about what your want to say in any conversation and don't hastily take a "1" away from your 1 John 4:18.

Overcoming Life's Crises

 I recently read a book called "Unbroken." It focuses on the story of Louie Zamperini, a bombardier during World War Two who gets captured by the Japanese. He, along with thousands of other prisoners of war (POWs), suffered through years of hazing, beatings, and other forms of abuse. Some Americans were gone from home nearly four years. Louie, who suffered especially bad, was gone about two and a half years. The military even declared him dead. When Louie did eventually make it home, his family and friends were, of course, overjoyed to see him alive and well.

    However joyous the reunion, there were consequences. The Zamperini family, and thousands of other families, had suffered through perhaps the biggest family crisis any of them had yet to deal with. Not only did families lose fathers, brothers and sons for years, many of them never made it home. Those men that did make it home were never the same again. Often, the former POWs fell into dark chasms of depression, anxiety and relied heavily on alcohol to cope with their war experiences. This caused a "pile up" of crises, with one crisis leading or causing another. A family watching a loved one head to war is a crisis on it's own, but that could lead the loved one to a prisoner of war camp which caused horrendous PTSD, which lead to alcoholism when they finally did make it home. The alcohol caused more crises, sometimes fueling abuse of other family members, particularly the spouse. So, when the family thought the war was over, some other crises were just starting. How did these families cope with this? What is the best way to deal with crises and the other problems that followed?

    There are numerous ways to properly cope with crises, no matter what it is. One appropriate way I would like to address is that of religious support. In Louie's case, this is the coping method that saved his life and his marriage. Nearly four years after the war, Louie agreed to join his wife in listening to a Billy Graham sermon. Billy Graham was a very strong evangelists that led many to God. He reminded Louie that Louie had made a promise to God that he would serve Him if Louie survived the war. This pushed Louie to stop drinking and eventually help turn other people's lives around for the better. Instead of the pile-up crises destroying Louie's life, he turned towards religion and found exponential growth there. Something else, religion, had filled the pit of alcoholism Louie was falling in.

    An article from the American Psychological Association mentions how religion is making an impact on others, specifically when the world was enduring quarantine from Covid-19. " Religion and belief are now seen by many researchers and clinicians as an important way to cope with trauma and distress thanks to research over the last three decades." It goes on to say, "People who made more use of positive religious coping methods had better outcomes than those who struggled with God, their faith or other people about sacred matters." Of course, this research supports Louie's coping method. When life seems to be overwhelming we can replace our bad behavior in life with good, fulfilling behavior, which religion often provides opportunities for.

    Belonging to a religion will not only provide good behavior opportunities, but it enables an individual to exercise faith. Faith can be developed in one's God or even oneself. We need to be confident in our abilities to overcome anything this life throws our way. We are powerful beings with powerful potential. If Louie Zamperini can survive a plane crash, 47 days on a life raft, multiple prisoner of war camps, and beat alcoholism, we can overcome any crisis that is thrown our way.

Intimacy; Why It's Important in a Marriage

 Why is sex important? Is it okay to have sex just for pleasure? Should you only have sex when you just want children? Many people might have questions like this. I've heard rumors that some people, especially those of my faith, that it is only okay to have sex when you plan on having children to create your family. Aside from their own personal beliefs, it's important for a married couple to have sexual intimacy when they don't plan on having children just yet. I believe that sex is a very sacred topic so I wish to include same sacred thoughts that I hope will help solidify the importance of having a healthy sexual experience with your spouse.

We know that sex brings pleasure to both spouses involved. While this might be just fine, a more meaningful type of pleasure is helping your spouse feel pleasure rather than focusing on yourself. Sex shouldn't be selfish nor instill pride. It is an experience shared between two people who love each other and want what is best for the other.

The Bible includes a verse (Genesis 2:24) mentioning why sex is so important between a husband a wife. It mentions, "a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall be one flesh." I want to break the phrase, "one in flesh" down. The importance of "one in flesh" is the unifying principle of being one. Sex can be unifying and, done with the right mindset, can create a bond stronger than any other human-made bond.

This is where intimacy comes into play. A way to break down the phrase "one in flesh" is to look at the word "one" relating to the word intimacy and "flesh" relating to sex. Sex and intimacy have different meanings. Sex for sex's sake is nothing. It is a pleasure of the flesh and not much else. It is meaningless and provides but temporary pleasure. However, intimacy can be strengthened from sex, though intimacy itself is not sex. Intimacy is the true bond that makes sex important in a marriage. Intimacy is the feeling of closeness and unity. A couple can still be one and not have any sexual interaction, though intimacy is greatly strengthened from sex.

So if you only want to have sex when you want kids, you can still feel close to your spouse. You are still one, though not necessarily "one in the flesh" until the marriage is consummated. But, even then, why is it important to be one with your spouse?

Your spouse is your partner for at least the rest of your life. if truly devoted, they help provide emotional, mental and even spiritual stability. That is if they are truly devoted to each other. No one wants to feel betrayed or loved less. However, infidelity seems to a growing issue. There are numerous types of affairs, including emotional affairs. It is necessary that a couple not allow friends or others to get too involved in their marriage. If others do get too involved, one or both spouses can get emotionally attached to the other person outside of the marriage. This emotional attachment could even potentially lead to a sexual affair, thus separating the marriage bond even more. Heartache lies in wait for those whose marriages are infected by betrayal.

When intimacy is strong between a couple, strengthened by sex, the chances of infidelity are less. The love for your spouse only increases as you become one in the flesh, involving both intimacy and sex. Greater happiness lies in focusing on your spouse and making sure they feel safe and secure. When you are one, they will make sure you feel the same way.

Waiting to Marry is a Good Thing Right? Not Quite.

     How many of us have heard, "I want to finish school before I get married," or "We don't want to get married until he gets a higher paying job?" I think we've all heard comments like this from couples that have yet to get married. I want to be clear that waiting to marry isn't bad, in fact, for some it may be a good thing. I don't necessarily want people to get married a month after they marry each other too. There is a balance that may lead to a more satisfying and successful marriage. I want to talk about the two extremes of marrying to soon and then marrying too late in life.

    I know of a very successful couple who have been married for fifty-five years, have six kids, several grandkids and even a few great-grand kids. This couple was engaged three days after they met each other. This shows that for some people, it does work out to get married real soon after meeting each other. However, many people get divorced because they didn't know who they were marrying. This is why it's important not to skip any of the steps leading to marriage (dating, courting, engagement, and marriage). When you date around, you start to figure out the type of person you want to be with. Courting forms a much deeper, meaningful relationship and you start to understand who that person is. During the engagement period you learn to make decisions together, furthering your understanding of who you're going to marry. These stages take time, preferably months, rather than days. When people marry too soon, they're denying themselves an opportunity to truly get to know this person they believe is their significant other. So why not wait to marry then?

    Think of some milestones in your life, such as your first soccer game you won, or your baptism, or your high school graduation. Who was present for those milestones? Most likely your family. Completing milestones like these create unifying experiences. Think of how happy your parents were when you were baptized. How big were their smiles when you received your diploma? They supported you because they love you, and seeing you accomplish such things only deepen that love. Essentially, the same thing happens when your significant other is involved in later life milestones, like graduating college. If you waited to marry, you wouldn't be sharing important milestones as a married couple, unifying your relationship. Pushing off marriage to accomplish such milestones instead is also a sign of low commitment to each other. In a way, your telling your partner that you'd rather put these things before them. Those things take a higher priority over the person you're supposed to be loving. Don't put your career above your spouse. You may be setting yourself up for an unsuccessful marriage.

    So, there is period in life which may lead to more benefits if you choose to get married during that time. You want to get to know your partner, which may take several months, depending on how much quality time you spend together. You also don't want to miss out on their accomplishments, nor have them miss our on yours. Not only are these experiences unifying, by being there for them, it shows you are committed to being with them. I am not saying that if you miss out on these milestones your marriage will fail. It just provides the opportunity to strengthen your relationship. There are many other things you can do to strengthen your marriage, but experiencing accomplishments together is one way.

     If you happen to meet later in life, or miss other opportunities to strengthen marriage, there is an almost foolproof way to come closer together. Turn to God. If it is God's will, He will bless your marriage as you turn to Him. Look for opportunities to come closer to God as a couple, and His unifying spirit will be with you.

To Date or Not to Date

 What even is dating? Why am I struggling to find someone to date? Why are so many kids in middle school and high school going around telling their friends, "Oh yeah, me and June have been dating each other for three weeks," or "Aren't Josh and Lena dating now?" Are these kids actually dating? First, I want to help answer that first question. What even is dating?

When a young teen boy finds a young teen girl he likes, he'll probably try to hold their hand or if he's gutsy he might even cuddle with her. If he's real brave he'll even work up the nerve to kiss her. Soon after, someone might ask the question, "so what are we now? Are we dating?" According to some, yes they might be dating. But where is this going to lead to? After a few weeks they might get bored of each other and move on. The boy will hold another girls hand, kiss her, "date" her for a maybe a couple months and move on to yet another girl. This is not dating! At least, not in the way it's laid out by certain therapists.

Dating in a proper way might be described by some as "playing around." A boy will find a girl, ask her out and spend quality time with her and then do the same with another girl. The next week he will do the same thing with a couple other girls. As I said, this type of dating might label a boy or girl as a player, but this allows the individual to gain experience and figure out what they want in a relationship. Eventually, this individual will find someone that they want to spend more time with and may ask them out again. After a few more dates they might move into the courtship phase. This may be what those high school teenagers are more familiar with. In the courtship phase, the boy and girl are essentially a designated couple. They hold hands in public and all that other fun stuff. However, I want to add, it is still vital to a healthy relationship to keep going on quality dates with the chosen person. Quality time is irreplaceable. As the couple's relationship builds, they might start talking more and more about engagement and marriage.

Engagement is the next and third stage of choosing to marry someone, followed soon thereafter, of course, by the fourth stage; marriage. Again, I would like to emphasis that it is still important for the couple to date. They need to go on dates with each other and spend that quality time with each other.

To help answer the second question, why am I struggling with finding someone, I would like to make known how important it is to include God with our decisions. God should not be excluded from any aspect of our life, even our dating life.

God wants to answer our prayers and wants us to be happy. So why, then, are there so many people who struggle to date or get married? God sometimes let's us make the wrong decision so that later on we will know what the right one is.

A story is told by a religious leader of how he was driving back from a hike and came to a fork in the road. After praying to know which fork to take, he felt he should take the right one. It was a dead end. He turned around and took the left road which of course, was the correct road that led him home. Why had God let him go down the right road? The church leader would know, for a certainty, that the other road was the one that would lead him home. The same principle sometimes applies with dating. We will date around and think we found the perfect girl or the most handsome man, only to realize after a few weeks, or months, or even years that they are not the correct one to marry. God will help guide you to a person that will work with you. I am not saying there is one specific person for you to be guided to, but that God will help you make someone work if He sees fit.

Dating in the way of going on dates with multiple girls will help you find someone who will work out and may even help you find that someone faster. There is security in not getting too close until you feel you are right for each other. Once you do find someone who is willing to work with you, don't stop going on dates. Keep having experiences with each other, whether they're boring or exciting, and trust that God will help you in your journey.

It's Not About Battle of the Sexes

 Have you ever wondered why we are the way that we are? Why do women tend to be more gentle and caring? Have you noticed that boys seem to be more aggressive and competitive? I want to focus on the difference between the two genders, male and female, and their corresponding roles in the family. 

There are several memes and videos on social media that depict a male finding anything that resembles a gun, a stick, a chunk of metal, and then they proceed to shout "bang" as they shoot the new-found gun. Turns out, this goes a little deeper than just a little social media humor. There are have been various experiments done to help explain the difference between boys and girls. In one such study many types of toys were laid out. Little boys and girls were released to play with the toys. What do you think happened? For the most part the boys went to toys such as cars, a blue teddy bear and a ball. The girls played with pink teddy bears and a cooking pan. These were children from the ages nine months to 32 months! They didn't have much time to be influenced by the ways of the world, they just naturally went to those preferred toys. This goes to show that boys and girls really are different! What is impactful about these differences, especially when male and female come together to raise a family? 

Other studies have shown that girls tend to be more cooperative, gentle and connect well. Boys are competitive, aggressive, and compartmentalize relatively well. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I believe God has blessed each gender with these differences so that they may better fulfill their roles as mother and father. In the "Family; a Proclamation to the World" (a document released by church leaders from God) reaffirms the role of a mother is to nurture, and a father is to protect, preside and provide. Perhaps you might already be seeing how the differing traits can help each gender fulfill their role. 

Mothers are the primary nurturers, especially in the first part of a newborn's life. The infant constantly needs the mother. Women are great at forming relationships and perhaps one of the most important relationships to build is between mother and child. A child needs to be treated gently, they need to feel connected. Their mother, with these traits, provides these necessities, almost throughout her entire life. A woman also tends to be aware of multiple things at once, which can be very useful when raising multiple kids that require almost constant attention!

A father, while he too can be gentle, needs to provide, protect and preside over the family. There are many dangers in the world. If a father is not aggressive enough during appropriate times, he may not be able to adequately protect his family. Males are shown to be more competitive, which may lead them to compete for higher paying jobs, bettering their ability to provide for their family. A father is also able to compartmentalize well, hopefully meaning that they can leave the stress of work at work and focus on his family when he is with them, helping him preside more effectively.

These are just a few general examples of how differing gender traits can help parents fulfill their responsibilities better, but we know not every male is aggressive, nor is every female cooperative. Individuals, no matter what gender, are unique. We do all have unique traits that can either be strengths or weaknesses. It is important that when we join together in marriage, that we do our best to compliment our strengths and weaknesses. God has outlined roles for mothers and fathers, and it is in our best interest to fulfill those roles to the best of our abilities. We will not be perfect at it and there will be times when the mother will have to step into the father's role and vice versa. What matters is striving to follow God and raising our family using the gifts and traits God has blessed each of us with. 

The Difference Between Cultures; How Moving Affects Family

 

 How much does culture affect a family? Each family is different, even families from the same town, in the same state, of the same ethnicity. Of course, each person is unique, meaning that each family will be unique. Though each family unit can be different from their neighbors, there is a general culture that surrounds each town, in different countries. We all know about the different types of cultures that exist, but what happens to the family when that culture is changed? I would like to share, essentially, the pros and cons a change in culture can have on a family. 

 To start off, I would like to mention the huge cultural change an immigrant family goes through and how that might alter the family dynamics. A study was done in North Carolina following ten different immigrant families from Mexico (https://www.jstor.org/stable/4541647). For the most part, the parents of each family wanted their children to have a better future, which would be achieved by gaining a US education and learning English. After the move, however, relationships were altered and for some the end goal of moving back to Mexico may have changed as well. To move the whole family from Mexico often took three years. The father would usually leave first, who would bring the rest of his family years later. This time gap typically decreased the quality of relationship between the father and the rest of the family. This is just one con from this change in culture, or rather in the process of changing cultures. Once in the states, the families would learn English which the kids picked up faster than the adults. Instead of relying on the adults for communication, the adults would have to rely on the kids. This could either be a pro or a con depending on the perspective. The children typically stayed loyal to their families, and this would strengthen that, but it might also be embarrassing to rely on their child so much. The family that moved to the States also most likely left behind extended family, which was a huge support in Mexico. The children often missed their extended family so much they felt lonely and depressed. This is why the immigrant families would still celebrate cultural rituals, which led to a greater feeling of loyalty to each other. These families, while struggling, are not less than the other families around them, they just are getting used to the cultural changes required to achieve their goals of a better future. 

 While there are so many other changes that may happen when a family changes culture by moving to a different country, I want to take some time to focus on what might happen to a family that just moves from one state to another, within the US. I feel like a few more people might be able to relate to this cultural change a little more. I would like to share some experiences I had from moving around different states. When I was six, my family left the place that had been home for my ancestors for 120 plus years. We moved eight hours away from the rest of my extended family, which was hard on all of us. Two years later, we moved again, this time about two hours from homes. Three years after that, we again moved eight away hours from extended family. Finally, we made one more move that again led us to live two hours away from most of our extended family. Each move became slightly easier than the one previously, I think because our family system was getting used to the changes.

Each individual may have suffered in slightly different ways, but essentially we all pulled through. Now, our family is well bonded. We don't rely on constant extended family support. I feel like we all became slightly more self-reliant. Each person in the family would have to get used to making new friends, get used to new schools and just dealing with a lot of "newness." Depending on how we reacted to the new things, we were either strengthened or weakened. I've gained and lost so many friends, I've started and stopped different sports, and I've had to deal with lots of other changes, but one thing has remained constant in my life; my family. 

 While we don't go through the drastic changes immigrant families go through we still had to get used to differences in with each town we moved to. We are not better than other families around us, nor are they better than us. We just simply have had different experiences that taught us different lessons. The same constant can apply to all families if they look at and deal with different challenges with the right mindset. Those immigrant families could give up, and many do, but that lessens the chances of achieving their goals. With the right mindset, any family could go through any cultural change and become stronger from it. 

https://www.jstor.org/stable/4541647

What Happens When We Assume Things in Relationships... Not a Whole Lot of Good

    How many of us have assumed things before? I'm pretty sure all us have and I'm equally sure that most of us can finish the saying about assuming and what it does to both parties involved. It doesn't usually end up good depending on the situation, especially in relationships. There are too many issues that can arise from simply thinking you know everything about your partner and what they're thinking. 

    Let me provide a couple of examples of how assuming things in a relationship can turns things bad too soon. 

    A boy, let's call him Kevin, really likes this girl. Let's call her Izzy. After a few days of talking Kevin finally gets up the nerve to ask Izzy on a date. When she says yes, Kevin's brain starts to churn. His hopes start to rise. Maybe she does like him. He gets her number and later that night he texts her. She responds! His hopes get even higher. On the date Izzy laughs a little at his weird jokes and maintains eye contact when she is talking to him. Looking in her eyes, Kevin is sure she likes him. See where this might be going? Later during the date he is walking her home and tries grabbing her hand, which she pulls away, leading to an awkward conversation where Izzy essentially friend-zones Kevin. At least she wants to get to know him better. Notice what happened when Kevin made an assumption about Izzy liking him. He thought she liked him though she was just doing nice, normal things. This certain situation is simple, but it gets a certain point across. While it might be helpful to look for signs of attraction, assuming things can complicate things. 

    Another example, perhaps a little more serious involves a married couple. Let's call them Nick and Katrina. For most of the first year of their marriage they were relatively happy and argument free. Just a few weeks before their anniversary Nick started coming home from work later and always seemed to be smiling at the texts sent to him by someone, but Katrina didn't want to be nosy and ask who Nick was talking to. After a couple of weeks of  this they were watching a movie, Nick's phone dinged, he looked at it and a grin grew onto his face. Katrina, who had had enough of this, asked who had texted him. Nick hastily put his phone down and said it was just a friend. Katrina asked what their name was and if she knew them. Nick said their name was Bella (It was a woman's name!) and that Katrina didn't know her. Katrina assumed the worse and started to get frustrated and extremely concerned. She began to pester Nick and an argument ensued. Katrina didn't give Nick a chance to explain himself until she had yelled at him and tensions were high. Finally Nick blurted out that he was planning her an anniversary gift. He had wanted to surprise her with a thoughtful gift and had been working with an artist named Bella who had been sending him updates of the gift she was working on for Izzy. Katrina felt horrible but they were able to talk it out. Nick could trust that Katrina really did love him and was loyal to him and Izzy trusted that Nick loved her too and was thoughtful with that love. 

    These two examples describe a form of symbolic interaction, a theory about the family and issues that might arise from not getting the full or proper perspective of the other parties involved. A key to avoiding situations like these is communication. Give it time and talk it out. Be understanding and open minded. Don't automatically assume the worse if you think you recognize a problem in your relationship. Of course there should be nothing wrong with asking questions and being concerned, but starting to interrogate your partner thinking that you know they are in the wrong will most likely create tension right off the bat. Trust and communication should be integrated into a relationship, whether budding or established, and will decrease assumptions in that relationship, thus strengthening the partnership and unity of both partners. 

    

List of Classmates Blogs

 http://forthefutureoffamily.blogspot.com/

https://whyfamily0.blogspot.com/

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https://decidewhoyouwanttobecome.blogspot.com/

https://familyfanandresc.blogspot.com/

https://discoverthejoyoffamily.blogspot.com/

https://familiesonthefrontline.blogspot.com/

ladycaptainerica.wixsite.com/familyexpectations

https://teachingsoffamilyrelations.blogspot.com/

wannabetraddad.blogspot.com

https://famliy160.blogspot.com/2023/04/introduction.html

https://zacksblogtm.blogspot.com/

https://savingonefamilyatatime.blogspot.com/

https://weeklyoverload.blogspot.com/

https://familymatters80.blogspot.com/

https://forthefutureoffamily.blogspot.com/

https://fam160familyrelations.blogspot.com/

https://brennanblogfamily.blogspot.com/

https://kevincastrochavez4.wixsite.com/family-relations