What a Parent Gotta Do?

My mother has been one of the most influential person in my life. She has been a citadel of faith for me and many others. Her love and compassion inspires me to be a better person. I served a mission for my church for two years after high school in the Midwest during the lockdowns of Covid-19. This was one of the hardest times of my life. It was my first time away from home, we were locked in from the virus, and I had very limited contact with my family. My mother, however, set me packages and cards. She helped me feel loved. Those simple, yet profound gestures perhaps saved my two year long mission. Needless to say, I have learned a lot from my mother and the wonderful example of a parent she is. 

  Recently, my mother went to a conference with an influential speaker. She came home and the first thing she did was give me a big, long hug. Now, my family isn't typically a "huggy" family. We don't hug each other a lot, and we like our space, so this hug was definitely a bit unusual. At this conference, however, my mom learned the benefits of longer hugs. There are multiple studies that explain the advantages of long hugs and this really influenced my mom, and it will continue to influence those that are being hugged. A couple lines from dignityhealth.org explains very well why hugs are so advantageous. "Hugging increases serotonin, a neurotransmitter known as the 'feel good' hormone that is produced and spread by neurons in the brain. Serotonin helps us feel happy, calm, and confident." 

  Compare my mom's experience with the experience of my little brother. He is a wrestler in high school, a very physical sport. There is a certain bond within my little brother's wrestling team. Even the parents seem to be close. There are several reasons why this might be, but as far as the wrestlers are concerned, I think all the touching and wrestling together helps solidify and even develops a bond. Wrestlers are in consistent contact with each other, and although this specific type of contact is not necessarily out of love, it can still create the same effects of hugging, leading them to feel like they belong and are not alone.

  It seems obvious now why a parent needs to physically interact with their child. To have this physical touch, parents need to be present and active in their children's lives. This physical touch has been proven to change and develop children's behavior. A once wild and untamed kid can turn into a controlled child from just a little more physical touch; a hug or a handshake even. 

  Not only does physical touch increase bonding and belonging, it is nearly essential for survival. Human beings are not designed to function or to be alone. According to one article, children who get little physical touch have a higher chance of having stunted growth, weaker immune systems and essentially fail to thrive. 

   So, what a parent gotta do? Hug your children! Yes, allow them to struggle a little bit. Don't be a helicopter parent, hovering over their every move, but hug them, let them lean on you when you're sitting on the couch, wrestle with them. Let them feel loved throughout all stages of childhood and even into adulthood. The benefits of hugs goes both ways. Adult children can help their parents know that they are loved too. We lack a lot of love in this world, especially in our families. We need families, so let's do what we can to help each other feel loved. As cheesy as it sounds, the lack of hugs and other forms of physical touch can lead to some serious problems throughout generations.

https://www.dignityhealth.org/articles/4-facts-about-hugs-why-you-should-embrace-the-embrace

https://www.wvdhhr.org/birth23/raunewsletters/RAU7_Summer2018_PPNewsletter.pdf